ACQUAINTED WITH GRIEF


There is a question that keeps coming up on all the Grief boards I read: “does my loved one in heaven feel grief and sorrow for her earthly losses?” There doesn’t seem to be a satisfactory answer; especially as Christ, in Isaiah 52:3, is described as: “A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.” The question is important to me as well. It has been very comforting to me to believe I spared Pat the pain I felt and still feel occasionally, by not departing first (as if I had any choice).

Pat obviously felt the pain when she learned she was dying. She wrote on Wednesday November 16, 2016:

I hate the fact that I am making several loved people unhappy.

The other thing I hate is the prospect of pain. I am terrified. I am a complete coward when it comes to pain.

I am told things can be done to control pain, but I’m not sure I believe it.

So much I will lose. The beauty of the Earth; of the skies, of colours. I see it all turning and turning to darkness.

So much loss, such pain.

Please God, please, please, please.

Did Pat carry this into heaven?

When did this feeling of loss, pain and sorrow go away for both Christ and Pat; was it immediately upon leaving the earthly body or does it stay, since Pat being one with me feels what I am feeling and we believe Christ to understand pain and sorrow?

There are three places in the Bible where it is promised God will wipe away the tears. Isaiah 25:8 (KJV) “He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the Lord hath spoken it.”; Revelation 7:17 (KJV) “For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.” and Revelation 21:4 (KJV) “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”

The question becomes when does this happen and for Pat does it wipe away only her own pain and not the pain she feels from being one with me? I don’t have an answer, but, I feel Pat is at PEACE now and we remain one! Both Christ and Pat are comforting me.

3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 (KJV)

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This One Holy Trinity is our true and eternal home.
Posted on March 15, 2017 by thebows99krug
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I have mentioned before that when I awake from a nap I can often see Pat typing messages to me on something that looks like Facebook. It usually goes by fast and I have trouble reading it. This time it was different. I was waking up at 3 pm – the number three is important. Pat was complementing me on Quiet Love … eyes to see and words to tell the truths that are most true. She typed that our marriage and love was like a community of three. At the centre of US was an eternal divine community of perfect love. The Bible says that God is love, but the only way God can be love is for God to be a community of divine persons. Love does not exist in a monad. God is that eternal community of love and so was our marriage. Each person of the Trinity is irreducibly and uniquely itself, distinct in three persons, and yet is perfectly united in being, love, and purpose. It is a true community of perfect love. It is like what I drew as the circles that took James in on page 93 of Quiet Love

In John’s gospel, before his death Jesus prays to his Father, “23 I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me.” John 17:23 King James Version (KJV)

Jesus makes the astounding claim that the triune God’s ultimate purpose is to include us in this eternal trinitarian dance of love. The Father sends the Son to be one of us. By faith and baptism we are included in his relationship with the Father. By the gift of the Holy Spirit, we cry, “Abba, Father!” We are in the Son, and the Son is in the Father, and we come to share in this eternal community of love through the Holy Spirit.

St. Augustine, also confirms this: “Now when I, who am asking about this, love anything, there are three things present: I myself, what I love, and love itself. For I cannot love love unless I love a lover; for there is no love where nothing is loved. So there are three things: the lover, the loved and the love.”

Her waking me up to this truth is proof to me that we never separated and Pat and I are one soul. Pat is indeed in heaven preparing a place for us. We are well on our way to becoming GOD AND US.

Eric C. Bow

There is a question that keeps coming up on all the Grief boards I read: “does my loved one in heaven feel grief and sorrow for her earthly losses?”  There doesn’t seem to be a satisfactory answer; especially as Christ, in Isaiah 52:3, is described as:  “A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.”  The question is important to me as well. It has been very comforting to me to believe I spared Pat the pain I felt and still feel occasionally,  by not departing first (as if I had any choice).

Pat obviously felt the pain when she learned she was dying.  She wrote on Wednesday November 16, 2016:

I hate the fact that I am making several loved people unhappy.

The other thing I hate is the prospect of pain. I am terrified. I am a complete coward when it comes to pain.

I am told things can…

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About thebows99krug

Hi, I am Eric, a retired librarian. I was born in St. Michael's Hospital, Toronto and raised in the downtown area north of the Art Gallery, south of the University of Toronto. I went to Orde Street Public School, Harbord C.I., University College at the UofT and the UofT's Faculty of Library and Information Science. I meet my wife Patricia at FLIS; our first date was on November 15, 1968. We were engaged February 14, 1969 and married on June 21, 1969. Our family includes son, James; daughter-in-law, Erin; (both writers), grand-daughters, Vivian and Eleanor; and Pooka, a small but fierce gray tabby. I would like to hear from any other class of '63 alumni of Harbord C.I. and class of '67 alumni of UofT's University College.
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