Patricia and I were two halves that together complete wholeness. Pat and I were the starting point in the sacrament of marriage where God joins two entities into one. When something is whole, it is unchanging and complete. So, when, death separates the physical entities into two halves – half in my heart, the other half in heaven, it upsets the equilibrium of wholeness and causes the pain of grief as both halves chase after each other as they seek a new balance with each other. We will not be fully whole again until we both are fully one in Heaven. In the meantime, I repeat, I really haven’t lost Patricia I have gained Christ and am with Pat in the arms of Christ in Heaven and she is still one with me in my heart.
The Bible says “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. (Genesis 1:27). It is not the physical body God “made” in His image but the soul and love. Men and women were created in the image of God the Father and the Son by the Holy Ghost, a human body is not essential to image bearing. It is the identity we feel in our loved one’s presence that is created in God’s image. Marriage was also created in His Image. When we marry, we become a three in one united soul – Pat, I and our Love, three persons, the image of the divine Trinity. I rejoice in her PEACE and in the prospect of once again being fully one with her in Heaven.
When Pat was alive we worked for the good of each other. We never shut each other out. In Pat’s words, we were “communicating bubbles”. She thought our marriage type, two intersecting circles, was the best type of marriage. She wrote, “I think we have learned to be kind to each other. A little wary of each other’s privacy, but still touching.” Our quiet love was a communion, a sharing of the wonders of the three persons (Pat, I and Love). We were most usually together and always aware of each other. We held hands not only when she was 64 but right to the end. We rested with our heads on each other’s shoulders. Our souls were united even then; yes, we had true love – it conformed to and revealed each other’s soul. It flowed from our decision to become One, as per our marriage vows. Love was the very center of our personal lives.
This type of love extends beyond the grave especially as Christ defeated Death. Okay the one left behind is incomplete, hurting and no longer whole. But there is still communion. Communion flows from the loved one in Heaven to the grieving one still in the physical world. It is the third entity, Love, continuing to love and to restore the balance between Pat and I. We are still growing in Love and becoming that eternal united One, a union that will endure beyond the grave. A union of intellect, identity, attention and souls – a union with God.
I believe when I join Pat in Heaven we will be born again as a united eternal soul, a new unit of wholeness but still a trinity – Pat I and Love. Already I feel Pat becoming stronger in me.