One in Marriage for all eternity


In thinking back to how Pat and I spent our life together, I realized just how little we talked. Talk was mostly about day to day things like: what do you want for breakfast; what did you and James talk about at lunch, is this a laundry day, what do we need in groceries, where do you want to celebrate this anniversary, etc. There was a lot of touching, working side by side on our computers, (Pat wrote that she felt closest to me when we were both working on our computers side by side; I think that is why she now often communicates with me in the haze of waking from sleep on a big white computer screen.) reading side by side, side by side at Tai Chi, and watching TV. But very little talking about the deep issues of life. At Church, we enjoyed the service together often touching hands and meditated together during communion. Yes, we communicated but it was somehow beyond words. Pat said it best: “For you and I are so entwined / that we can read each other’s mind / at times, a simple exercize. / Then comes the stumble of surprise / when, reaching out in haste, I find / the stranger self behind your eyes.” Our love grew ever stronger as did our faith even without the constant chatter some couples constantly insist on. We were happy in our quiet love and in just having each other near. We were most together in our thoughts and minds. Pat wrote a lot of her deepest thoughts down in her dairies and journals. That is how I discovered in researching for “Quiet Love” that she was further alone than I in understanding our love, marriage and faith. Also, being a poet and novelist she was more open to both nature and God. I must think deeply about things, brood over them, meditate on them and wait for my subconscious to come up with the things Pat just seemed to know. Our union into one entity in marriage caused both of us to grow in love and faith. We are still growing. As friends and family saw we were a very together couple. We were in marriage already one entity or at least there was a third entity always present in us together – the one created by the sacrament of marriage. It was and is as if our minds were working out the answers together. Thoughts like these are much more than words, they are feelings, our very soul and LOVE. As a friend recently commented “Love for one’s spouse is the same as love for God.” We absorbed each others’ truths directly, we had in Pat’s words, “eyes to see and words to tell the truths that are most true.” To friends, family, and others, we were probably “cute” (look at those old folks holding hands) and boring. What we have is Quiet Love that is eternal. Again, from that friend, we “live with the memories and the hopes and dreams we create together and hope to share in our eternal life in Christ.” I shall love Pat forever.

About thebows99krug

Hi, I am Eric, a retired librarian. I was born in St. Michael's Hospital, Toronto and raised in the downtown area north of the Art Gallery, south of the University of Toronto. I went to Orde Street Public School, Harbord C.I., University College at the UofT and the UofT's Faculty of Library and Information Science. I meet my wife Patricia at FLIS; our first date was on November 15, 1968. We were engaged February 14, 1969 and married on June 21, 1969. Our family includes son, James; daughter-in-law, Erin; (both writers), grand-daughters, Vivian and Eleanor; and Pooka, a small but fierce gray tabby. I would like to hear from any other class of '63 alumni of Harbord C.I. and class of '67 alumni of UofT's University College.
This entry was posted in Family, Grief, Poetry, Religion, Religion - Anglican. Bookmark the permalink.

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