Separation trauma

On Saturday, December 3, 1988 Pat wrote after a three day stay in Toronto General for an operation and on learning of my two sleepless nights: “I think we’ve reached the point in our marriage when separation is a trauma.” Well she was right, the “trauma” occurred every time to the one left at home during the other’s stays in the hospital. And it wasn’t just for operations – I got it when she went to Montreal to visit her dying mother. During my heart attack in 2015 Pat didn’t get much sleep during all the time I was in St. Mary’s. It explains the great loneliness the one in hospital feels at night for her loved one; Pat used to wait for me by the elevator in the mornings before breakfast arrived. I had separation trauma after her death; it is a big part of the Grief Journey. I believe at some point in the 19th year of our marriage we truly became one entity. Our souls became so intertwined, so intimately webbed together that neither of us could tell which was which, and whose was whose. Yes we suffered trauma on separation and death is a separation. At least until I found her dwelling in me and I dwelling in her. Maybe the grief therapists should consider treating Grief as PSTD.

About thebows99krug

Hi, I am Eric, a retired librarian. I was born in St. Michael's Hospital, Toronto and raised in the downtown area north of the Art Gallery, south of the University of Toronto. I went to Orde Street Public School, Harbord C.I., University College at the UofT and the UofT's Faculty of Library and Information Science. I meet my wife Patricia at FLIS; our first date was on November 15, 1968. We were engaged February 14, 1969 and married on June 21, 1969. Our family includes son, James; daughter-in-law, Erin; (both writers), grand-daughters, Vivian and Eleanor; and Sonic, a very friendly ginger tabby. My beloved wife died January 7, 2017 and our 19 year old cat Pooka died January 8, 2017. I would like to hear from any other class of '63 alumni of Harbord C.I. and class of '67 alumni of UofT's University College.
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