Grief has taught me


Between Patricia’s death January 7, 2017 and Mothers’ Day, 2017 the most important thing I have learned is God helps those who are seeking him.  Grief is God shouting at us. “God whispers in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” – C. S. Lewis.  Pat and I had been seeking him for the 48 years of our marriage, we found Him. Pat is in the arms of Christ preparing that place for us that Christ promised.  She was accepted into His arms when her soul left her body. Resurrection and final judgment take place immediately after death. As St. Paul says, “To be absent from the body, is to be present with the Lord.” II Corinthians 5.

Pat is in Christ’s arms as am I.  Yes, I believe this: Pat and I are not even separated by the death, since the spirit of Pat continues to live in me. And this shall continue until my death, when we meet again and reunite ourselves and love each other more tenderly than before because we are in the Great Now.  I also believe our love is continuing to grow ever stronger.  The Torah says, “Male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:27). … Marriage is the unification of two halves into one complete entity, described as “one flesh.” Christianity adds, that the purpose of a marriage of one male and one female is to unite them into one entity – it is in marriage that two are joined as one in the image of the triune God.  By marriage, the husband and wife are one person thus with marriage are a trinity.

On April 28 at 5:01pm I wrote on Facebook: “Please God let me see her real resurrection body and not the ashes.” My prayer was answered. Today’s nap brought Pat’s presence. At first, she gave me a slide show of recent images of herself based on my favourite pictures of her ending with the one of her knitting in the hospital. Then I was looking at her as she is now. She is far more beautiful than any of these images. She is perfect. Age, sickness and Death have not touched her; She is healthy and though an adult she looks young, vibrant and beautiful. She still has the perfect complexion the PSWs and nurses all commented on. There was also a radiance to her like polished gold. She communicated ” You have eyes to see so see me now as I am awaiting thee.” The image grew life sized and I knew it was her REAL presence. God does answer our prayers and LOVE is stronger than Death. Pat, I love you forever.

Interestingly there was no awareness of time or physical space. Her glowing body was like a hologram as if made of light made solid in a Star Trek Holodeck. She was recognizable just as Christ was to his disciples but it was not a recreation of her old body. It was a spiritual body and perfect for her. I believe there is no time in Heaven.  2 Peter 3:8 King James Version 8.  “But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.” For Pat, it will not be long before I join her. As Albert Einstein said, “the distinction between past, present and future is only an illusion.” Pat is in the Great Now.

“God is Light. Well over two thousand years ago, the prophet wrote: “Arise, shine: for thy light is come… The sun shall be no more thy light by day; neither for brightness shall the moon give light unto thee: but the Lord shall be unto thee an everlasting light and thy God thy glory. — Tom Harpur. “Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.” ― Rabindranath Tagore.  These past 4.5 months, while at times very painful have taught me a lot about God, love and my wife Pat.  I see clearly the eternal elements of our marriage and quiet love. I believe Cynthia Bourgeault when she tells of her continuing love beyond the grave and her ‘Mystical Union of Two Souls”. Yes, definitely LOVE is stronger than DEATH. Pat does dwell in me and I in her forever.

About thebows99krug

Hi, I am Eric, a retired librarian. I was born in St. Michael's Hospital, Toronto and raised in the downtown area north of the Art Gallery, south of the University of Toronto. I went to Orde Street Public School, Harbord C.I., University College at the UofT and the UofT's Faculty of Library and Information Science. I meet my wife Patricia at FLIS; our first date was on November 15, 1968. We were engaged February 14, 1969 and married on June 21, 1969. Our family includes son, James; daughter-in-law, Erin; (both writers), grand-daughters, Vivian and Eleanor; and Pooka, a small but fierce gray tabby. I would like to hear from any other class of '63 alumni of Harbord C.I. and class of '67 alumni of UofT's University College.
This entry was posted in Family, Grief, Religion, Religion - Anglican. Bookmark the permalink.

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