Only when I break free of all awareness of the outside world, of my senses, can I become aware of the real me. Awareness of the world outside myself is just my senses reacting to the physical world of the Big Bang; it is noise, my experiences ‘seen’ through my senses, and me trying to control and understand it; it is anxiety and worry. It is not who I really am. It is only when I turn off my senses that I can find the real me. When they stop as in the wolf hours before dusk and dawn, my real self appears, and I really am in the silence of that empty space within. It is my true presence and the presence of my departed beloved and God. It is why wolves howl. It is then I become truly me. It is beyond any of the senses, beyond deep breathing. It is like my cat standing on my chest forcing me to recognize his presence, the presence of him and “I” and my lost saints. I sense the Presence of “I am who I am”, my beloved and my own “I am.” I have found the Love within everything. The highest form of intelligence is meditation, an intense awareness that liberates the mind from its reactions and lets Love in. In Love you truly see. I am more than the sum of my parts. I am a wave, a vibration, that emptiness in which my presence, her presence and God are One. To Know means to be.
Mark 10:17 – 25 By Patricia A. Bow Jan. 1972
I live in the soft prison of my desires,
home of all my comforts.
There is no other tenant,
and nothing breaks the silence.
Outside, in clarity of sun and wind,
God’s voice reaches men
as well as angels,
and eyes look out for love.
I am a prisoner,
reaching no hands outward,
having withdrawn self to self.
Accustomed to my prison now,
I love it, fear to leave it.