Woke this morning feeling very strange. There was something new in my being. A new sense? I was aware of knowing something momentous but not what it was. It was like feeling the end and the beginning. Feeling like something important was happening and not happening. I was feeling the “goals” of existence—what I was made for, the beginning and the end, “ideal grace” meaning a gift from God. This was not at all like I thought of God. It was something altogether unlike me. There within was something that has always been there for me. Oh, and there for me was a very real feeling of my beloved Patricia. Yet both were there before I was born and will be there for me after I leave this earth. Will the memory of my beloved Patricia remain true to her reality, to the her invoked by the pictures of her in every room? How can I be sure that the image that I have of Pat will in fact be of the real Patricia? Even the paintings though closest to the real her done at the height of our love? We prayed -still pray – together forever. This was, is a new way of praying?