On Love, Marriage and Death


“Why weepest thou?” [John 20:15] These words are not only to Mary but to each of us who have experienced a great loss. Jesus who is love, sees you too in your loss and pain. Turn to him in your pain and know that you will see your loved one again in him who will make you whole again. Remember that he first made you one and “what God has joined together, let not man separate.” [Mark 10:9]
The problem is my beloved Patricia is while I am just beginning. Like all married couples we were united as one with God; redeemed through marriage. Pat and I were united into One to receive each other into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of God. We are still One though on opposite sides of the door for now. Death opens the door for us to join again; she is waiting on the other side of the door. All the pages of the New Testament, the Good News says, God willing, we will rejoin on her side of the door. I am constantly reminded that we marry to immortality!
One of the reasons we married is we moved each other to thoughts of God. We began a journey to C.S. Lewis’ God and us; some special part of us now felt we were made whole. God is love. Love doesn’t just integrate us He shows us that the essential part of us wasn’t really missing it had simply been asleep until we found each other.

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God is LOVE!


Sometimes while reading a Facebook friend’s post I find myself in Julian of Norwich’s small cell and see the stone around and feel the dark and see bits of her vision. This moment stayed in my head and this morning I remembered in my waking dream:
“This vision was shown me to teach me – as I understand it – that it is necessary for everyone to feel in this way: sometimes to be comforted, and sometimes to feel failure and be left to oneself. God wants us to know that he keeps us equally safe in joy and in sorrow, and loves us as much in sorrow as in joy. And for the benefit of his soul a man is sometimes left to himself, although sin is not always the cause; for at this time I committed no sin for which I ought to be left to myself. Nor did I deserve to have the feeling of bliss. But our Lord gives freely when he wills, and sometimes allows us to be in sorrow and both come from one love. For it is God’s will that we keep ourselves, in good spirits with all our might, for bliss lasts forever, and pain passes and will come to nothing, therefore it is not God’s will that we should be influenced by feelings of pain to sorrow and grieve over them, but quickly pass beyond them and hold on to the endless joy that is God almighty, who loves and safeguards us.”
We are all occasionally surprised by Joy. This is joy bringing you out of grief. Thank you Facebook friend!

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Love is stronger than Grief!


That one kiss from my beloved spouse the day after she had died saved me from despair. That she lived still with Christ was beyond debate. We were still one with each other and God. One thing I know, that in grief I was blind, but with that kiss I now saw God is LOVE and had united us as ONE forever! We walk for ever her favourite beach as One with Him.

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Sex in Heaven


Very interesting passage from C.S.Lewis ‘Miracles’:

“We know the sexual life; we do not know, except in glimpses, the other thing which, in Heaven, will leave no room for it. Hence where fulness awaits us we anticipate fasting. In denying that sexual life, as we now understand it, makes any part of the final beatitude, it is not of course necessary to suppose that the distinction of sexes will disappear. What is no longer needed for biological purposes may be expected to survive for splendour. Sexuality is the instrument both of virginity and of conjugal virtue; neither men nor women will be asked to throwaway weapons they have used victoriously. It is the beaten and the fugitives who throwaway their swords. The conquerors sheathe theirs and retain them.”

I pray that Lewis is right and we, Patricia and I, will experience Love from God, love for God, and love for one another. After all sex is NOT sin, original sin was disobedience to God and we, Pat and I, were made One by God.

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Yehwah the only true God.


In Hebrew “I am” (אני) is one word. When Moses asked who he should say sent him, God tells him “You must tell them: ‘The one who is called I AM has sent me to you.” ‎Exodus 3:13 God is another being who is conscious of Himself. Genesis 1:27 tells us “God created mankind in his own image” And Wisdom of Solomon 2:23: “For God created man to be immortal, and made him to be an image of his own eternity”. Only man and God are conscious of themselves.
When John 1:1 says “the Word was God” it means just that; God spoke the Word and said the Big Bang creating the universe and that universe is expanding into God. God knows that universe just as we know the thoughts that arise out of our thoughts and are conscious of our-self. Yes we are created in the image of God. We see God in each other. God is “I am who I am.” (אני מי שאני) this is the great revelation. “Here in is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us.” 1 John 4:10.
As a spirit created in the image of God we have a beginning but no end! We are immortal. As a spirit we have no gender. When two spirits meet as soul mates and marry they become one in the image of God and still without gender.  Pat and I are one not two , just as God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost are One not three.
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Love is everything!


“No quality of human nature is more remarkable, both in itself and in its consequences, than that propensity we have to sympathize with others.” [David Hume] This sympathy can be called Love. Love is how we escape the confines of our own mind. We feel our own Love in response to the love we observe in the other. We go from “I think therefore I am ” to “I love, therefore we are.” We are able to understand the thoughts and feelings of our beloved through the operation of our Love. I feel the “Presence” of my departed spouse therefore she still exists. We escape the confines of our own mind into God because God is Love.

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Marriage is fulfilled in Heaven


When looking within I usually find myself in a house, a small circle of consciousness in a dark house. I have always wondered at the darkness. I frequently felt Pat’s presence and thought she should show up as another bright circle of consciousness.  And there was the Presence of God, surely if present in me, He should be a light lighting the whole house.  Well this morning only half awake and still dreaming, my inner house was filled with a bright cloud brightening the whole house so I could see all. Pat and I walked together through this newly lit house, hand in hand pressed together. In some deep way we were praising God and ourselves being One.  Thought linked with thought, dream linked with dream, image to image linked with God.  Death hasn’t beaten us! Love has set all the doors wide open and we could see all eternity and we were free!  I stare into her green/grey eyes and see paradise has now united God, her, and me; us as One profoundly searching, opening, asking, yielding as we did on our wedding day. Our two lives drawn together forever. What does this morning dream mean?  This is our house and now we know each other forever. This is where we live and never die. We are still one because Christ’s Victory has fulfilled our marriage in Heaven. As St. Paul said: “And now these three remain Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love (1 Cor 13:13) Only LOVE is eternal.

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Christ within is seeking you!


I take Christ’s words to Heart when He said “At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.” John 14:20 and “nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.” Luke 17:21. So I search within myself for the truth; I am a mystic. In 2 Corinthians 13:5 Paul writes, “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? ” Christ also said, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:…” Matthew 7:7. Truth is everywhere even in the Gnostic Gospels; the Eastern Church is correct when they recognize degrees of Truth. If Christ had wanted us to accept and stop reasoning he would not have told us to seek! He is still our Rabboni and will be forever. God is Love!

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Three consecutive dreams dreamt since January 6th, 2020.


  1. I died, and my soul was about to be harvested when my beloved spouse appeared and stopped the process. She forcefully said, “He is mine; he belongs to me.” We then were put back together as One with each other and God!
  1. I was in a cave like tomb; it was dimly lit as the stone that was the door was only partly rolled aside. On a shelf over my head there was every communion cup I had ever drank from; only the last one still had wine. Pat was there holding my hand. She shared this last bit of wine with me and we saw the presence of the risen Christ. The stone rolled fully open and the tomb was filled with light. We heard Him say “I have not forsaken thee.”
3, Pat and I were swimming in the warm waters of a tropical lagoon. The dream was mostly feeling the warmth and the close presence of Pat. Our touching reinforced our oneness. We were in Paradise The verse in my first Christmas card to her came to mind:
A BOOK of Verses underneath the Bough,
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread—and Thou
  Beside me singing in the Wilderness—
O, Wilderness were Paradise enow!
We knew we were in Paradise and we were filled with great joy. We were outside time and space and could move through any pleasant moment in our life and experience it again. We were One with each other and God for ever, When the Lord appeared to us we said “we see Oh Lord!” He replied “How wonderful.”Through the Holy Spirit we also are made eternally one and live as one in the body of Christ.

 

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Love is within us all!


In the Gospel of Philip, Levi says, “The Lord loved Mary more than all the disciples, and often used to kiss her on the mouth.”
Love and grief sharpens our understanding of the bond we have with one another. In the Canonical Gospels we learn Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, because of her great love, and her great grief. There is no doubt that Mary and Jesus had a special bond. We need to see Jesus through her eyes to truly understand Christ’s message to us.
“There were three who always walked with the Lord. Mary , his mother, Mary her sister, and Mary of Magdala, who was called his companion; for Mary is his sister, his mother and his companion.”
What God has joined together let man not separate. It is clear that when two beings are truly united in love, then nothing can separate them, not even death. Love is Christ’s victory; the truth of their relationship remains true even after death!
We become whole when we truly love. Mary became whole, One with Christ and God. She walked alone with Christ in silent communion which all who are truly in love and joined by God as One with a beloved spouse understand full well.
Unlike Peter her reval for spiritual leadership, Mary never rejected Christ as Peter did. The Gospels tell us Jesus predicted “This very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” Christ never turned to Mary to say “Get behind me Satan! You are a hindrance to me for you are not on the side of God but of men.” Mary was beloved, the “Apostle to the Apostles!” It takes male and female to be truly human, to bind the human soul together with the divine soul. God created human beings, male and female, in the image of God.
This Christmas let us remember our Oneness with Christ and Mary Magdalene. Let us share some time with our departed spouse. “Let us grow as he demanded of us, and walk forth to spread the gospel, without trying to lay down any rules and laws other than those they witnessed.”
Sharing wonders
Old and new
Shared time
Alone with you
Christmas is
This, too.
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