Sex in Heaven

Very interesting passage from C.S.Lewis ‘Miracles’:

“We know the sexual life; we do not know, except in glimpses, the other thing which, in Heaven, will leave no room for it. Hence where fulness awaits us we anticipate fasting. In denying that sexual life, as we now understand it, makes any part of the final beatitude, it is not of course necessary to suppose that the distinction of sexes will disappear. What is no longer needed for biological purposes may be expected to survive for splendour. Sexuality is the instrument both of virginity and of conjugal virtue; neither men nor women will be asked to throwaway weapons they have used victoriously. It is the beaten and the fugitives who throwaway their swords. The conquerors sheathe theirs and retain them.”

I pray that Lewis is right and we, Patricia and I, will experience Love from God, love for God, and love for one another. After all sex is NOT sin, original sin was disobedience to God and we, Pat and I, were made One by God.

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Yehwah the only true God.

In Hebrew “I am” (אני) is one word. When Moses asked who he should say sent him, God tells him “You must tell them: ‘The one who is called I AM has sent me to you.” ‎Exodus 3:13 God is another being who is conscious of Himself. Genesis 1:27 tells us “God created mankind in his own image” And Wisdom of Solomon 2:23: “For God created man to be immortal, and made him to be an image of his own eternity”. Only man and God are conscious of themselves.
When John 1:1 says “the Word was God” it means just that; God spoke the Word and said the Big Bang creating the universe and that universe is expanding into God. God knows that universe just as we know the thoughts that arise out of our thoughts and are conscious of our-self. Yes we are created in the image of God. We see God in each other. God is “I am who I am.” (אני מי שאני) this is the great revelation. “Here in is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us.” 1 John 4:10.
As a spirit created in the image of God we have a beginning but no end! We are immortal. As a spirit we have no gender. When two spirits meet as soul mates and marry they become one in the image of God and still without gender.  Pat and I are one not two , just as God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost are One not three.
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Love is everything!

“No quality of human nature is more remarkable, both in itself and in its consequences, than that propensity we have to sympathize with others.” [David Hume] This sympathy can be called Love. Love is how we escape the confines of our own mind. We feel our own Love in response to the love we observe in the other. We go from “I think therefore I am ” to “I love, therefore we are.” We are able to understand the thoughts and feelings of our beloved through the operation of our Love. I feel the “Presence” of my departed spouse therefore she still exists. We escape the confines of our own mind into God because God is Love.

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Marriage is fulfilled in Heaven

When looking within I usually find myself in a house, a small circle of consciousness in a dark house. I have always wondered at the darkness. I frequently felt Pat’s presence and thought she should show up as another bright circle of consciousness.  And there was the Presence of God, surely if present in me, He should be a light lighting the whole house.  Well this morning only half awake and still dreaming, my inner house was filled with a bright cloud brightening the whole house so I could see all. Pat and I walked together through this newly lit house, hand in hand pressed together. In some deep way we were praising God and ourselves being One.  Thought linked with thought, dream linked with dream, image to image linked with God.  Death hasn’t beaten us! Love has set all the doors wide open and we could see all eternity and we were free!  I stare into her green/grey eyes and see paradise has now united God, her, and me; us as One profoundly searching, opening, asking, yielding as we did on our wedding day. Our two lives drawn together forever. What does this morning dream mean?  This is our house and now we know each other forever. This is where we live and never die. We are still one because Christ’s Victory has fulfilled our marriage in Heaven. As St. Paul said: “And now these three remain Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love (1 Cor 13:13) Only LOVE is eternal.

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Christ within is seeking you!

I take Christ’s words to Heart when He said “At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.” John 14:20 and “nor will they say, ‘See here!’ or ‘See there!’ For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you.” Luke 17:21. So I search within myself for the truth; I am a mystic. In 2 Corinthians 13:5 Paul writes, “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? ” Christ also said, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:…” Matthew 7:7. Truth is everywhere even in the Gnostic Gospels; the Eastern Church is correct when they recognize degrees of Truth. If Christ had wanted us to accept and stop reasoning he would not have told us to seek! He is still our Rabboni and will be forever. God is Love!

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Three consecutive dreams dreamt since January 6th, 2020.

  1. I died, and my soul was about to be harvested when my beloved spouse appeared and stopped the process. She forcefully said, “He is mine; he belongs to me.” We then were put back together as One with each other and God!
  1. I was in a cave like tomb; it was dimly lit as the stone that was the door was only partly rolled aside. On a shelf over my head there was every communion cup I had ever drank from; only the last one still had wine. Pat was there holding my hand. She shared this last bit of wine with me and we saw the presence of the risen Christ. The stone rolled fully open and the tomb was filled with light. We heard Him say “I have not forsaken thee.”
3, Pat and I were swimming in the warm waters of a tropical lagoon. The dream was mostly feeling the warmth and the close presence of Pat. Our touching reinforced our oneness. We were in Paradise The verse in my first Christmas card to her came to mind:
A BOOK of Verses underneath the Bough,
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread—and Thou
  Beside me singing in the Wilderness—
O, Wilderness were Paradise enow!
We knew we were in Paradise and we were filled with great joy. We were outside time and space and could move through any pleasant moment in our life and experience it again. We were One with each other and God for ever, When the Lord appeared to us we said “we see Oh Lord!” He replied “How wonderful.”Through the Holy Spirit we also are made eternally one and live as one in the body of Christ.


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Love is within us all!

In the Gospel of Philip, Levi says, “The Lord loved Mary more than all the disciples, and often used to kiss her on the mouth.”
Love and grief sharpens our understanding of the bond we have with one another. In the Canonical Gospels we learn Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, because of her great love, and her great grief. There is no doubt that Mary and Jesus had a special bond. We need to see Jesus through her eyes to truly understand Christ’s message to us.
“There were three who always walked with the Lord. Mary , his mother, Mary her sister, and Mary of Magdala, who was called his companion; for Mary is his sister, his mother and his companion.”
What God has joined together let man not separate. It is clear that when two beings are truly united in love, then nothing can separate them, not even death. Love is Christ’s victory; the truth of their relationship remains true even after death!
We become whole when we truly love. Mary became whole, One with Christ and God. She walked alone with Christ in silent communion which all who are truly in love and joined by God as One with a beloved spouse understand full well.
Unlike Peter her reval for spiritual leadership, Mary never rejected Christ as Peter did. The Gospels tell us Jesus predicted “This very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times.” Christ never turned to Mary to say “Get behind me Satan! You are a hindrance to me for you are not on the side of God but of men.” Mary was beloved, the “Apostle to the Apostles!” It takes male and female to be truly human, to bind the human soul together with the divine soul. God created human beings, male and female, in the image of God.
This Christmas let us remember our Oneness with Christ and Mary Magdalene. Let us share some time with our departed spouse. “Let us grow as he demanded of us, and walk forth to spread the gospel, without trying to lay down any rules and laws other than those they witnessed.”
Sharing wonders
Old and new
Shared time
Alone with you
Christmas is
This, too.
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To another solitude

I am neither an Apostle nor a Saint for I have never seen the risen Christ. I’m not even sure I  have the ears to hear or the eyes to see the hidden meaning in His word.  Yet I believe my beloved Patricia lives! For I have seen her standing before me when I awake, gently touching me, comforting me. Yes that gentle kiss on my lips that awakened me from a nap on the couch the day after she died was very real. “…The body is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption. 43 It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power. 44 It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body.” 1 Corinthians 42-44. Yes she still lives and we are One in God – two joined as One in a resurrection body dwelling within.  I believe in God with all my heart, and with all my soul, and with all my mind, and with all my strength. That day after kiss was all it took!

Patricia my beloved is at peace, that same love and peace of God that surrounds and upholds all who love and mourn.  Neither death nor any created thing is able to separate us from the divine love we share in Holy Matrimony – it continues beyond death for all eternity.  Now we see through a glass dimly, but then we shall see clearly face to face. The mystery of death and the wonder of life are one.  Once, we were within the security of the womb and faced the trauma of birth not knowing the awesome wonders nor the love that awaited us in the world yet to be experienced.  So shall it be in death.  “Death is not the extinguishing of the light, it is but the putting out of the lamp for the dawn has come.”  God is Love and we love forever!

My five essential truths that are most true:

  1. Love is from God, whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.
  2. Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening; no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate what Love has joined.
  3. I love Pat and Pat loves me forever; until death do us part is meaningless.
  4. By marriage, two are united into One, a Trinity in the image of God,
  5. Pat dwells in me and I in her through God for all eternity because God is Love.


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Written When Pat returned home for Christmas break from UofTFlis 1968.

The Departure

It does not do, it does not do
This tension between the two.
They sit and glare
At each other, then turn,
And into empty space they stare.

Two, of course there are two;
The one’s anger barely controlled.
The other does not smile or smoke;
His hair long and plausive;
Bastard, sitting there,
wants to be loved.

She does not stir
She does not speak.
They talk in whispers,
Anger barely hid.
“What do you do?”
“Are you from the city?”
“Where do you live?”
Bland platitudes exchanged
Over a surface of anger, anger.

The one wishes they had exchanged loves,
That he had more a right to speak,
That he could make demands.
The other, old friend, gentleman,
Empty, sad and full of need,
Just sits there;
He wants to be loved.

The other is- the more forceful.
He is the precious bearer of her load
He says the one will not be travelling far.
He puts the one in his place.
There is no load for the one to bear.

The underground is closed,
He takes command,
A carriage is hailed
The one sent packing
Without a farewell kiss.
The one walks home lonely and alone,
He wishes they had exchanged loves
That he had more a right to speak
That he could make demands;
But the other is her old, old friend.

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The Dream of things to be.

The Dream of things to be
December 1968/1969
Revised November 2019.
Eric Bow
Come walk with me,
talk with me
of loneliness,
of dying,
the need for crying.
not to argue
or explain.
Can you relate,
bring two beings into one?
Walking alone together,
in silent conversation,
only living
with each other,
nothing left to see
but the one
within you and me
We talk of things we shall never see,
of the unborn and the yet to be,
the soul within you and me,
the empty void within
crying to the empty void without.
Our soul is transformed,
changed beyond all change.
Yes, we ask nothing
We have all!
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