To Love!

Love does not come by our seeking it. I cannot make Love appear. Love is a gift of God freely given. To love is to experience Grace; it comes when you most need it. Love gives you a sense of truly being. When you find your beloved a special chamber around your heart opens and you keep her there forever as she keeps you in her being. This is the meaning of becoming One. You dwell in her and she dwells in you as does God.

Posted in Bow, Patricia A., Family, Grief, heaven, Love, Marriage, Religion, Religion - Anglican, Soulmates, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

I am who I am

To be joined as one in marriage by God means there is another who I am one with as I am one with myself; as I love myself so too do, I love her. Yes, Patricia and I were one. Two individuals yet of one substance, essence or nature.
If you see only the physical, you are not complete; there is far more to life than can be proved by science. We are a spiritual being dwelling in a temporary physical body. When you find your soulmate surely you see that life is about something more than the physical and you stop trying to seek a life grounded in the physical. You are a spiritual being and far more than the rational scientist living a material life.
Patricia was right when she mused that we do not die. Our soul is energy and energy can not be destroyed. Pat said her body was not her, she was much more than what she left behind. We are not there in that dead body, but we are still somewhere aware that we still live. We are that which is aware; the “I am” doing the seeing. Remember energy is just there; it has no beginning and no end. Energy always existed and cannot be destroyed. It is only scientists that name it energy; it is the “I am what I am” of Exodus 3:14. It is God everywhere animating life, being aware of himself, being Everything.
To know yourself is to know God. To know God is to know Everything. We are created in God’s image. We share God’s name. We also are “I am what I am”!
Death and resurrection, God and us, are where marriage must be leading. I have come to this idea over the two years since my beloved Patricia died. Pat is reborn, resurrected as light. She still dwells within me. She is everywhere all around me as well as within me. I know what she knows. We are Adam and Eve, every married couple are, two individuals united by God into one forever.
I am Pat; Pat is me! We are one in God forever. Not only one in my dreams, she and I are One in Heart, Soul, Mind and God! We are who we are!

Posted in Bow, Patricia A., Family, Grief, heaven, Love, Marriage, Religion, Religion - Anglican, Soulmates | Leave a comment

God and Us II

C. S. Lewis attempting to describe his own mystical event, says, “I felt as if I were a man of snow at long last beginning to melt. The melting was starting in my back—drip-drip and presently trickle-trickle. I rather disliked the feeling.” His wry comments are clearer than any somber attempt to describe the event with exactitude. Rather, this contemplative moment is a spiritual event that kisses the cognitive but will not be enslaved to its rigidities.
I haven’t reached this stage yet. I am still at the cognitive exercise stage seeking oneness with God and spiritual awareness and insight, seeking C.S. Lewis’s “God and us”. I do feel a Oneness with my beloved Patricia Bow, filling the void within me that her death left. I am approaching wholeness again but not there yet. My hope is in “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:6) After all, we were pronounced “man and WINE” at our wedding and she still is the wine in my life!

Posted in Bow, Patricia A., Family, Grief, heaven, Love, Marriage, Poetry, Religion, Religion - Anglican, Soulmates | Leave a comment

Marriage united us as one

Pat truly understood what it means for two to become one when she wrote: “12th Anniversary Poem (fragments) 1981”

“I know the scent and shape of you:
I know you all, yet not at all. I linger with a connoisseur’s delight over a contour of bone, a texture of skin, gloating over treasures of silk and ivory that are mine alone, and yet no-one’s but yours.

“For you and I are so entwined that we can read each other’s mind at times, a simple exercize. Then comes the stumble of surprise when, reaching out in haste, I find the stranger self behind your eyes.

“Far apart upon the lawn, two tall trees confront each other never to touch, ever alone: yet beneath the grass and stone intertwined their roots have grown, so intimately webbed together, neither one can tell his own.

“So with us: which flatly proves futility of arguments
On which is which, and whose is whose.”

Yes she knew what it meant to be truly in love. In a nutshell, our quiet, sharing love was a spiritual union of souls: two individuals united before God but still separate, different individuals. We respected each other’s privacy but were still touching. We were always aware of each other’s presence even when we were not in the same room. Ours was/is a union between soul mates. As she wrote in another poem to me, “We ask nothing: we have all!”
In her heavenly garden you will find lilacs of the deathless kind; the two trees of the poem.


Image may contain: one or more people, tree, plant, flower, outdoor and nature
Posted in Bow, Patricia A., Family, Grief, heaven, Love, Marriage, Poetry, Religion, Religion - Anglican | Leave a comment

God and Us!

Life is NOT meant to be about the pursuit of happiness; it is about becoming! Life, our life, is not ended, it is merely changed. Life is about learning to love and die in and with God. God is REALITY! Everything will be alright in the end. If it isn’t then it is not the end and you continue in and with God. We are all saved and forgiven in spite of ourselves; that is what Christ was (is) all about. Life is not ended, it is merely changed!
Adam and Eve are NOT just one man and one woman; they are all men and all women here and now united as One. They are one in and with God and us, partakers of the heavenly kingdom. They are every couple united in marriage into one by God. God in Christ redeemed us in the all inclusive sweep of Divine Love when Christ was born as Jesus. Jesus was and is both GOD AND MAN! Personal worthiness, reward and punishment are all illusion, Jesus gives us a new way of living with each other, and that new way centers on love and grace. Hell by definition is the absence of God. If God is everywhere then there can be no Hell. Christ showed those in Hell the truth that God is everywhere. We have ears to hear and eyes to see God is everywhere.
Christ is the Light in our darkness. Light is energy. We are all energy. Resurrection is going to the Father and coming back as Light – a light with form and shape and person. We awake changed. We become the burning bush, one with the eternal “I am what I am”. Christ said, ” Believe in the light so that you also may become children of the light.” (John 12:16) As we say in the Communion: ” …grant that we may ever hereafter Serve and please thee in newness of life, to the honour and glory of thy Name; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”

Posted in Grief, heaven, Love, Marriage, Religion, Religion - Anglican, Soulmates, Trinity | Leave a comment

Looking for her presence

Had a revelation last night during the “hour of the wolf” – that period in the night between 3:00 and 6:00 am when you awaken and can’t get back to sleep. A nightmare awoke me – Pat had left me and I couldn’t find her! I was now wide awake in great fear. Suddenly dreaming while still awake. Pat and I were together again doing the Vulcan mind meld (yes we are Star Trek fans). “My mind to your mind, your mind to my mind. We are one in God forever.” Not only in my dreams; she and I are One in heart, soul, mind and God! Our strength is in this truth. Pat is my mirror! If she withdraws, I am sad and empty or even angry and cannot get back to sleep. We know each other in and though each other’s minds; we know ourselves in each other as One in God. It is through Love that we understand each other. Pat’s presence in me is from God; only God can do such Oneness and bestow her presence in me. So I trust in God. As Fr Richard Rohr says, “Simply put, if death is not possible for the Christ, then it is not possible for anything that “shares in the divine nature” (2 Peter 1:4). God is by definition eternal, and God is Love (1 John 4:16), which is also eternal (1 Corinthians 13:13) and this same Love has been planted in our hearts (Romans 5:5, 8:9) by the Spirit dwelling within us.” Death and resurrection are where marriage leads us. Patricia Bow is reborn, resurrected as LIGHT! She is everywhere, all around me and within me. I can never lose her. Love is stronger than death and is forever. Two persons made one by God. And so she is found and I fall back to sleep!

Posted in Bow, Patricia A., Family, Grief, heaven, Love, Marriage, Religion, Religion - Anglican, Soulmates | Leave a comment

Marriage: civil vs sacramental

Most of the major religions have their own internal debates, frequently heated, over the status of same-sex unions. Some denominations have endorsed marriage for same-sex couples. Others have taken a friendly position toward these unions. Mainline Protestant denominations are divided on the issue, although some have taken negative positions. Apparently we Anglicans and Catholics are divided. Still other denominations and religions seem to be strongly opposed collectively. There is no single “religious” position on these unions in our Churches today. In Canada, under the law, religions are free to marry or not marry same-sex couples.
John Paul II wrote, “God created man and woman in such a way that through their bodies it would be self-evident to them that they are called to love, called to give themselves to one another” Holy Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another: “It is not good that the man should be alone.” “So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” However marriage is not about sexuality; marriage is about becoming one with each other and God.
The issue of how a secular state defines marriage has nothing to do with the Church or what is the Church’s area of focus and responsibility – the sacrament of marriage. The sacrament is a mystery that is regulated by the church’s internal system. The sacrament of marriage is not just a prayer during the wedding. It has a much deeper spiritual and religious meaning and much higher level of purpose than just couples expressing their love for each other in vows they often write themselves. The sacrament of matrimony is a couple becoming one in God.and vowing their love before God and to God.
As my priest said today, “God extends love and grace to all who are thirsty, not just to those who are deemed worthy.” Basically we are loved by God and equal in the eyes of God. It makes sense to me that the couple should be fully initiated into the faith and receive the graces from it. A Church marriage is sacramental, a civil marriage is not. The sacrament of Christian marriage involves a journey to God to becoming one with God and each other, to giving to and receive from each other. Their life becomes sacramental to the extent that the couple cooperates with God’s action in their life and see themselves as living “in Christ” and Christ living and acting in their relationship, attitudes and actions. In a sacramental marriage the couple begin their journey to C.S. Lewis’ “God and us.”
— June 21st, 2019 was the 50th anniversary of Patricia Bow and I marrying in St. Stephen’s in the Field Toronto and marriage has been on my mind all weekend.

Posted in Bow, Patricia A., Family, Grief, Love, Marriage, Religion, Religion - Anglican, Soulmates | Leave a comment