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Monthly Archives: May 2017
Severe Mercy NOT needed thank you…
Pat got it right from the beginning. She was a very deep thinker and wouldn’t commit to love until she had thought it through. In a letter to me written just before she went home for Christmas 1968 she wrote, … Continue reading
Posted in Family, Grief, Poetry, Religion, Religion - Anglican
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We are born again!
What if the earth is a womb, the soul an embryo and death a birth into eternity? Could it be this is what Christ meant in John 3:3 (KJV) “Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto … Continue reading
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Grief has taught me
Between Patricia’s death January 7, 2017 and Mothers’ Day, 2017 the most important thing I have learned is God helps those who are seeking him. Grief is God shouting at us. “God whispers in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, … Continue reading
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God – the way, impalpable, invisible By Eric Bow (1968)
He sees me, has seen me and ever shall see me; His eyes penetrate the very essence of my being Before the wondrous process of my creation began. Where can I escape his watchful eye: Where do I travel to … Continue reading
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Untitled poem by Eric Bow (1968)
Come walk with me; talk with me of loneliness, of dying, the need for crying. Believe not to argue or explain. Can you relate, communicate, bring two brings into one? I talk of things I shall never … Continue reading
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Pancreatic cancer: Hard to diagnose, even harder to treat
Pancreatic Cancer’s physical symptoms are not very specific to the disease. They include fatigue, weight loss and loss of appetite. Pat was often tire in October but was gaining weight despite trying to lose it. Diagnosis depends on imaging procedures, … Continue reading
Posted in Family, Grief, Pancreatic cancer, Religion, Religion - Anglican
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Escaping the prison of material things….
I read a passage from Pat’s dairies and found that Pat’s unhappiness and deep depression started a few month’s after I quit my very well paying Ontario civil service job, in 1991. While I was still working and after my mom’s death Pat was relatively happy and content. She even expressed a liking for 214 McCaul and living in the neighbourhood. She was happy because she had, while I was at work and James was at school, time alone to write. That was all she ever wanted – to have plenty of time to write and maybe get published in English. Continue reading
Separation trauma
On Saturday, December 3, 1988 Pat wrote after a three day stay in Toronto General for an operation and on learning of my two sleepless nights: “I think we’ve reached the point in our marriage when separation is a trauma.” Continue reading
Posted in Family, Grief, Religion, Religion - Anglican
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My Greatest Fear!
Two years after his wife’s death, Vanauken writes: “…I found that my tears were dried. The grief had passed…. There was no sense of Davy’s being there with me, nor any sense that she was in the wind…. There were no more dreams…. This – the disappearance of the sense of the beloved’s presence and, therefore, the end of tears – this is the Second Death.” This “Second Death” is the point of the title of his book, “A Severe Mercy; a story of faith, tragedy, and triumph.”
I fear this severe mercy above all else. C. S. Lewis, after his experience of Joy’s presence, wrote in “A Grief observed”, “It was quite incredibly unemotional. Just the impression of her mind momentarily facing my own…. Continue reading
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