Pat got it right from the beginning. She was a very deep thinker and wouldn’t commit to love until she had thought it through. In a letter to me written just before she went home for Christmas 1968 she wrote, “…On top of this I feel an elusive fondness for you that can’t be classified; it’s too strong for friendship and not strong enough for love. Whether I will love you in the future, I don’t know. I think the chances for it are better than the chances against. I like to think of you and Toronto having a large role to play in my present, & perhaps my future. I would prefer you not to mention marriage again until & unless you feel that I can return your feelings equally. Pat. “
She wanted to be sure we were soulmates. About a month after she got back from Ottawa we were kissing good night after a date when she said, “Eric I love you!” After recovering from the shock, I replied “Does this mean you will marry me?” She replied “Yes” That was February 9th, 1969 we bought the ring on February 14, 1969 and were married on June 21, 1969.
In this first anniversary poem, she is firmly placing us on the road to becoming the united, eternal resurrection entity mandated by our sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
21 JUNE 1970
You love me royally, as I love you,
seated together in our garden Kingdom,
keeping up our silent conversation,
clothed in robes of joy of every hue.
For us, our royal love has had no parallel:
It rooted, grew, and like a miracle
spread to the garden where in now we sit,
Clothed in the fragrance of God in it.
And this long miracle is to discover
the inmost me and you,
to nurse no longing for another,
to forge the soul and its desire together
gently, openly and forever.
Nothing grows but common flowers
outside our Kingdom’s wall.
Here alone the magic lies.
We ask nothing; we have all.
Our marriage and love continued to grow stronger and stronger. Even after death it continues to grow. We are filling Gods purpose to create a trinity – the unity of Pat, I and our love into one in God’s own image to share in the creation process.
1 Corinthians 15:35-54), contrasts our earthly bodies with the splendor of our heavenly (resurrected) bodies, Paul says, “The body that is sown is perishable, it is raised imperishable; it is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory; it is sown in weakness, it is raised in power; it is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body”. In short, our resurrected bodies are spiritual, imperishable, and raised in glory and power. Pat dwells in me and I dwell in Pat and we dwell in Christ.
This First Anniversary poem was prophetic. It is so Pat, she had to plan everything out before starting it. It is only in the Grief Journey that I got to where she was when we married – God and Us! No need for Vanauken’s “Severe Mercy”.