Odd the things you remember, last night, I woke remembering:
Waking early in the morning darkness. Listening, feeling the complete presence of my beloved there beside me in the dark. Matching the rhythm of my breathing to hers, using it to fall back into a meditative sleep. I surrender, yield to my love, to my oneness with her. Like sex this is truly Eucharistic – a drawing near to your beloved with all that you are; in conscious love. You know her completely and are comfortable with your oneness. My beloved Patricia, in her dairies wrote about the same experiences. She added that she found such moments to be times when she over came her shyness and whispered that she loved me. I remember bits of winter poems she wrote for me.
“In these empty rooms
Sounds from outside the windows
Approach like thieves
Birds chirp in the silent house
While the wife listens.
All seasons flowing:
This snow, those trees, are altered
From last winter’s scene.
Only my soul, transformed, is
Changed by love beyond all change.
It is the most basic way to meditate – focus your being on your breath, inhale and exhale. Feel the air traveling through your body from your head to the tip of your toes. Let your mind wonder – surrender, yield. You might feel just a tad dizzy and like you are floating above your bed. I try to think on my beloved’s presence at such times. Eventual you reach your oneness and fall back to sleep. You wake in the morning and are sure she was there throughout the night comforting you. Love certainly was there. Love is stronger than Death. You love forever.