What am I? What in me is aware of me? I am who I am. Interestingly that is what God says about himself. And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you. (Exodus 3:14 KJV) God is saying that He exists just as we conclude with Descartes that I think therefore I am. It is this Image in whose likeness we are made. 
The universe is God being aware of himself, the great “I AM” being aware of Himself. In the beginning there was neither time nor space – a void without form. It is not true that nothing was around before the Big Bang – God was there; by definition God is forever – He is both before and after the Big Bang. John KJV gets it right: 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 The same was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not. With God all things are possible, He is immortal and exists outside time and space. He knows himself because he is infinite. something must be actual to be truly known.
When I awake and feel Patricia still there beside me in the bed, I am aware she now exists as consciousness. As she herself said, there was something there being aware of herself before death that does not disappear with death. If it was there it is still there. Energy can not be destroyed; it changes into a new form. Patricia lives as pure consciousness and we both are aware of her presence in God and in me. I know this to be true: I am. Pat is, We are, One with God.
Consciousness is the stuff of the universe; it will never go dark. Our relationship is One, we will know each other and God forever. The candle really goes out because in death the dawn really does come, and we merge into each other and God. 
God is always the only subject of love, flowing though our relationships, through our opportunities and also through our challenges, through each and every one of the particular conditions we find ourselves in at any given moment. As Jesus said “It is not a matter of whether you’re male or female, celibate or sexually active, a monk or married. What matters is that you become a spirit”. We find that when we move beyond opposites, we become one with each other and God.