Most the time when reaching deep within yourself searching for the ends of your being and your departed beloved spouse, you find only the memories. Memories with all the love, feelings and reality of when they occurred – a video playing in your mind.  But this isn’t the presence you are looking for. That requires going deeper into yourself and then somehow in surprise reaching into the void that is both in you and outside you. You feel almost dizzy, looking at the world outside you through a frosted glass.  At the same time, you are both inside yourself and outside your self – looking at yourself and your beloved.  You feel rather than see, you feel great comfort, peace and awe.  And you feel all the love and sadness you have ever felt. Yes, it is two spirits touching. You have found the very real presence of your departed beloved spouse. NO! you are not going mad; it is how it is in the Kingdom of Heaven. There is no time or space you just exist as one with your beloved. You are not going mad. You have caught the great white whale. Doesn’t last long but it lasts long enough to give you peace. You know when your time comes, she will be there holding your hand, comforting you. This is what soulmate love is all about.