There is a question that keeps coming up on all the Grief boards I read: “does my loved one in heaven feel grief and sorrow for her earthly losses?”  There doesn’t seem to be a satisfactory answer; especially as Christ, in Isaiah 52:3, is described as:  “A man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief.”  The question is important to me as well. It has been very comforting to me to believe I spared Pat the pain I felt and still feel occasionally,  by not departing first (as if I had any choice).

Pat obviously felt the pain when she learned she was dying.  She wrote on Wednesday November 16, 2016:

I hate the fact that I am making several loved people unhappy.

The other thing I hate is the prospect of pain. I am terrified. I am a complete coward when it comes to pain.

I am told things can be done to control pain, but I’m not sure I believe it.

So much I will lose. The beauty of the Earth; of the skies, of colours. I see it all turning and turning to darkness.

So much loss, such pain.

Please God, please, please, please.

Did Pat carry this into heaven?

When did this feeling of loss, pain and sorrow go away for both Christ and Pat; was it immediately upon leaving the earthly body or does it stay,  since Pat being one with me feels what I am feeling and we believe Christ to understand pain and sorrow?

There are three places in the Bible where it is promised God will wipe away the tears. Isaiah 25:8 (KJV) “He will swallow up death in victory; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of his people shall he take away from off all the earth: for the Lord hath spoken it.”; Revelation 7:17 (KJV) “For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.” and Revelation 21:4 (KJV) “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”

The question becomes when does this happen and for Pat does it wipe away only her own pain and not the pain she feels from being one with me? I don’t have an answer, but, I feel Pat is at PEACE now and we remain one!  Both Christ and Pat are comforting me.

3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; 4 Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 5 For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.  2 Corinthians 1:3-5  (KJV)

About thebows99krug

Hi, I am Eric, a retired librarian. I was born in St. Michael's Hospital, Toronto and raised in the downtown area north of the Art Gallery, south of the University of Toronto. I went to Orde Street Public School, Harbord C.I., University College at the UofT and the UofT's Faculty of Library and Information Science. I meet my wife Patricia at FLIS; our first date was on November 15, 1968. We were engaged February 14, 1969 and married on June 21, 1969. Our family includes son, James; daughter-in-law, Erin; (both writers), grand-daughters, Vivian and Eleanor; and Sonic, a very friendly ginger tabby. My beloved wife died January 7, 2017 and our 19 year old cat Pooka died January 8, 2017. I would like to hear from any other class of '63 alumni of Harbord C.I. and class of '67 alumni of UofT's University College.
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