After death, your beloved spouse’s Presence within you is a great comfort but it cannot replace the gentle kiss, the full embrace, the loving glance, the soft touch as she squeezes by you. She still exists but it requires God and for you to more intensely feel both God and her presence within you before you can truly touch again. Now you can feel her there around your heart but true knowing of her Presence requires being free of emotions and moving beyond them.
You need a purer, more still way to experience her full Presence. You need an awareness that is aware of the whole of what Pat called “everything.” You need to be aware of both yourself and her true self within you. You need to be what you are; beyond the ordinary sense of who you are; beyond the “I am”. You have to see when there is no visual image to see, just the feeling of her – the vision of her when your body lets go. This is the Presence, and it is life after death.
Jesus said to his beloved, “Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.” (John 20:17) Well, she has been to the Father and has now united her Presence and God through out you. There arises within you a feeling of truth, of what is real within you.
Everything is within you; she is part of you. You need to be conscious of the two parts of yourself at the same time. You need to turn the reality of your “I”, always drawn by the physical world, toward the realty of your spouse within you. The One God made you, needs to be spiritualized by each – God, your spouse and you! You also must “ascend to the Father”.
There is a light, an intelligence, a feeling, when you open yourself entirely to the Presence within. Your thoughts cease and reason disappears, and you feel truly that you are one with you departed spouse and God – C. S. Lewis’ “God and you”. As Pat said, “you have all!” You feel Love! “I am” becomes “Lord have mercy!” You see and feel the presence of your departed beloved; you blend into the One God has made you in marriage and know what is true. You have the eyes to see and the truths that are most true!