Sometimes when feeling deep within myself for myself, my beloved spouse and God, my rational mind thinks I’m going mad.  There is nothing there, but dreams and I am alone. I can not awake to that great dawn until I die. But with Grace I can awake to another life within myself, my beloved spouse and God – in the fellowship of the Communion of Saints be a partaker of the Kingdom of God within. I believe I can know a difference consciousness than what I experience all the time in my daily life. Grace leads to the Presence of the One we are by marriage, to the Presence of Patricia and to the Kingdom of God within.  I feel the new order within, and I am a part of it. Because it is difficult to feel this sensation of the whole with my rational mind, I must escape my physical sensations. Am I an unconscious slave to my sensations or a conscious servant of God?  I need to know myself as ONE with the three within me. Close but not mad.